Big Bear
by alli-sun
Summary: Harry finds a green and silver note in Ron's trunk, and hysteria follows, all because of Harry's stuffed animal.


**Big Bear**

**Summary:** Harry finds a green and silver note in Ron's trunk, and hysteria follows, all because of Harry's stuffed animal. Oneshot, Ron/Draco slash. Don't like, don't read. 12/29/06 – edited and improved.

**Disclaimer:** Oh please. If I were J.K. Rowling, I would not be here, I would be living in my billionaire mansion with Harry Potter fans swarming outside on my front lawn. Instead, I'm a fangirl who marvels at sexy bishonen and writes fanfiction to her liking. I don't own anything but Big Bear.

* * *

Harry, the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the Golden Boy, the youngest Gryffindor seeker in a century, Dumbledore's favorite student, growled as he searched Ron's jumbled up trunk. And all the time he muttered angrily to himself,

"Should've never trusted the stupid git…I can't believe him…To bestow such a worthy—"

He paused. There, next to a pile of dirty socks and a star chart from last year was a folded pale green piece of parchment. And Ron's name was elegantly written on the front in silver ink.

Harry blinked. He had seen those colors before! He had seen them in coffee shops and dinosaur books and Ninja Turtle action figures; toilet paper rolls and flowers from the Home Depot. He had also seen them on evil Dark Lord's insignias and those creepy snakes that were painted in the books in the library and Slytherin's Quidditch robes. Green and silver were Slytherin colors. Why on earth would Ron even consider spending time with a bloody Slytherin?

He looked around to make sure no one was there, and then his eyes went back to the piece of parchment in his hands.

Sighing, Harry guessed that he would have to abandon his earlier objective. Big Bear was an important part of his life and soul, but being a Gryffindor and extremely nosy, his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Now he had better find out why Ron would have a letter from a Slytherin in his backpack. Probably dating one.

Immediately, Harry snorted. Ha! Dating a Slytherin. The words _dating_ and _Slytherin_ didn't even belong together. Hardly any girls in that house were particular lookers, anyway. A few pretty girls had passed there before, Narcissa Malfoy, for example, but he hadn't seen anyone special at the present. Pansy Parkinson still gave him the shivers.

Most of the people in Slytherin with above-average looks were actually men. Harry wasn't gay or anything, at least, he was pretty sure he wasn't, he hoped he wasn't…Bloody hell! What if he was gay and was secretly craving for—

_Shut up_ Harry shushed up his conscious and came back to the task at hand. It was decided. The looks of Slytherin males were far ahead of the opposite sex, regardless of the opinion-makers' sexuality.

This put a thought into Harry's head. Could Ron be dating a male? A male, Harry could handle, but a male _Slytherin_?

He didn't want to open it anymore. Not now, anyway. First he had to seek professional help. It was time to find Hermione

* * *

When Harry confronted Hermione with his problem, she did not address it as he would have liked. Instead, she decide to play twenty questions or something. And Harry had always hated twenty questions.

"So you went snooping into Ron's trunk?"

"I was looking for Big Bear."

"Big Bear?"

"He's my stuffed animal."

"You still have a stuffed animal?"

"He helps me sleep, Hermione."

"Alright, then. You were looking for your bear—"

"He's a giraffe."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Big Bear is a giraffe."

"You named your stuffed giraffe Big Bear?"

"Do you have a problem with that, Hermione?"

"No, no, no problem at all."

Harry growled for the second time. Bloody hell, why was he growling so much today?

"So, you're not going to open it?"

"Harry, why did you think that he kept it in his trunk?"

"…"

"He doesn't want us to intrude."

"But—"

"Harry, if Ron really is seeing someone and he didn't tell us about her—"

"Or _him_."

"Fine, he didn't tell us about her _or him_ because he's not ready to tell us yet. Besides, not _all_ of the Slytherins can be bad."

Harry blinked. Then he collapsed on the floor laughing.

"Harry! I'm serious! All these bitter feelings about the Slytherin house, well i'ts what muggles would call racist!"

Harry merely continued laughing. Hermione sighed.

"I hate to do this to you. Actually, I don't."

And with that, she yelled "Petrificus Tortalus!" and Harry lay immobile on the ground.

* * *

Harry was floating. It felt very nice, actually. He could see all the toys he used to play with. There were those little bionicle legos with those awesome little balls you could catapult at people, and a Star Wars figure head, even a Polly Pocket set that his aunt and uncle had dumped onto him. As he picked a one-eyed Polly up, she began to talk.

"Harry!"

"Don't know why you would want to wake up that useless lump, Weasley. It'd be better if The-Boy-Who-Lived finally died. I know _my_ house will be celebrating."

Harry was hearing two voices. They were both very easy to recognize, though he wished one wasn't. Specifically the slimeball of a wizard who had spoken the second time.

"Hey, I'm feeling a pulse!"

"Damn."

Yes, case was closed. One was his best friend and prime suspect of kidnapping Big Bear, and the other was a Ferret.

"Bloody hell, I was really starting to worry."

"I wasn't."

"Will you just stuff it?"

"Hmm, depends…"

"Quiet! He can hear us!"

A feeling of dread filled Harry. Could it be that Ron was dating…not he couldn't even say it. He was dreaming, he was definitely dreaming. Deep breath. Energy.

"Idiot, of course he can't hear us. Vince and Greg did a good job."

Malfoy's lackeys. No wonder Harry had been unconscious. Hermione was so inconsiderate. Didn't she even care what would happen to him if she hexed him? Noooo. She left him on the floor in such a heartless manner. Now he felt like crying.

"You told them to do this to him!"

"No, actually; they were just bored."

"So that's what they do when they're bored? Just going around beating up people?"

"They've hit puberty, they want to show off their macho-ness. Besides, Pansy's already selling tickets for people to watch that Smith bloke from Hufflepuff becoming the next victim. I can get you there for free, if you want."

"No, I do not want—wait, Smith, as in Zacharias Smith?"

"It'll be in the empty classroom at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower."

Harry let out a moan. Great, now Ron was having pleasant conversations with that git. The world was going to end soon. "I…" He began in a whisper, "I always loved you…Big Bear…"

"Harry!"

"Shouldn't have gotten my hopes up."

Harry opened his eyes and glared at Malfoy. The stupid prat, standing there as if he owned the entire school. He nearly threw up thinking that Ron might be dating _him_. He growled. Again.

"You okay, mate?"

"I'm going to have a talk with Crabbe and Goyle on their fighting styles—"

Harry grabbed the closest thing within his reach and threw it at Malfoy, which just happened to be a package of condoms. Malfoy caught it easily, and with a laugh.

"Already have a few in my trunk, Pothead, but thanks anyway. Might come useful."

"Ron, can you tell me something?"

"What is it Harry?"

"WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DATING DRMPHM!"

Two hands covered his mouth. One large one, with a calloused palm and freckles sprinkled evenly around. Another was smaller, smoother, extremely pale, and one he wanted to bite.

"Harry, listen—"

"_What do you think you're doing?"_

Madame Pomfrey had marched in and, seeing both Ron and Malfoy stifling Harry's mouth, came to conclusion that some sort of weird assassination was taking place. How? Well, Harry had always doubted that that woman had come from earth. If he had only been given time to research!

Malfoy rolled his eyes, grabbed Ron's hands, and dragged him out of the Hospital Wing. Madame Promfey shut the doors, shoved Harry back into his bed, and went back into her office. Harry merely stared.

* * *

After a few days of some serious work and observation of subject (Madam Pomfrey) Harry was allowed to leave the Hospital Wing. He and Hermione waited in the empty Gryffindor common room. When Ron entered, Hermione went right down to business.

"Right. Ron, Harry and I have made a list of questions that we will like answered, so please sit down."

Blinking and blushing, Ron sat down. Hermione cleared her throat.

"First, Harry would like to know why the closest thing within reach at the Hospital Wing was a package of condoms."

"Hermione, that was just a joke…"

Hermione, however, paid no attention to what Harry was saying and looked expectantly at Ron.

"Er, well, you see, Draco and I—"

"Oh, so know you're calling him Draco! Why's that, huh?"

"Harry, we've agreed to only ask questions on the list. Silencio."

Harry felt as if his voice box was whisked away and replaced by a miniature wall. He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying and failing to make a sound.

"Ron?"

"Okay, well, er, Draco and I were going to borrow them from a drawer and we set it down on the nightstand when we came in the Hospital Wing."

"Very well, then. Next question is another one of Harry's. What have you done with Big Bear?"

Harry tried to say something, but apparently the spell was still working.

"I didn't take him, but I saw Seamus sneaking him away and transfiguring it into a bloke's wand."

Harry was now screaming silently. Big Bear, turned into a _wand_? _That_ kind of wand? Seamus was dead.

"Thank you. Now, this one is from me. Do you feel that Draco Malfoy is a suitable person to withstand a relationship with, or is this all merely a short-termed mutual exchange of physical activity?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, is this merely a fling?"

"Oh.

"Is it?"

"Dunno, but he is really funny, and sometimes sort of nice in his own, weird sort of way."

By this time Harry was strangling himself and banging against the armchairs and walls. Hermione immobilized him, but in his mind, he was murdering Seamus and Malfoy with great satisfaction. In his own mind.

"Very well, then. Now, another question. Was this note from him, and if you feel comfortable enough, will you tell us briefly what its contents is?"

"It's not from Draco its from Zabini. He wanted me to give to you."

"…"

Out of surprise, or outrage, or perhaps deep love for the dark-haired Slytherin, who knew why, Hermione had fainted. That meant, unfortunately, that Harry could move _and_ speak.

"RON! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND? DATING MALFOY, BORROWING CONDOMS, TALKING TO SLYTHERINS, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, **LETTING SEAMUS TOUCH BIG BEAR!**"

Ron looked at his friends. One was motionless on the floor, and another was screaming bloody murder and bounding around in the common room. He watches silently as said screamer of bloody murder began tearing apart his school bag. He sighed.

They say sexual activity reduced stress.

"Better go put the condoms to use."

* * *

A/N – 12/19/06 – Edited and improved, and I think it's much better now. More descriptions, more cracked up humor, yes, I think you guys will like this much better. If you do, I ask of five, simple seconds to write a few words on my behalf to tell me what it's like from your point of view.

Just

Five

Seconds.

Thank you everybody, and have a nice day. n-n


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